Ludic Dreams

Today was a day wasted.

I had no work; so I figured it would be a lazy day, so that did help lessen the impact of the shear blahness of the day. It began fearing the fuzz… you see, the electronic software association frowns upon downloading .ISO’s of their games (specially battlefield 2). You see, I did such a thing, because the orginal discs are lost to me now, and I figured the ISO was easier than asking someone else for the discs.

the my mother got an e-mail, threatening the DMCA. If any of my facebook homies saw me listening to “FSR really, really loudly” that is why. Fuck the RIAA…. Fuck the MPAA…

In any case, I see online that I missed a kickass reunion on sunday. Curse me and my thirst for money.

Sweet sweet money.

I did do some things I wanted to;

Finally refreshed my PC back to the way I wanted it.

Fixed and updated all the metadata on my zune.

Downloaded a really cool program called Synergy that allows me to share my mouse and keyboard on different PC’s over the network. For instance, my PC mouse and keyboard can control my laptop…. I just tell the PC where the laptop is oriented on my desk and the mouse is able to zoom from one screen to the next. Supposedly works on all platforms, cross platform. So, mac/pc/linux/vista/ whatever. I am writing this blog post on my laptop screen while browsing the net on my main. This is the nerdiest thing I have accomplished in a while.

Jotted down another, like, 5 pages of the design document.

played WoW with a work buddy of mine.

Wished I had someone to talk to.

Reminisced about old friends.

Contemplated a number of things.

Hey, guys and gals – this goes for all of you – I hope we all have kickass lives. if you think this applies to you, it probably does.

To staying young,

-A F K

THE PLAYSTATION 3 IS BEING OUT SOLD BY THE GAME BOY ADVANCE.

That is all.
-A F K

Sweet God, What I have seen.

I now purge my mind onto paper, this past weekend, for your whorish enjoyment. So please, do that.

Enjoy.

When the white car pulled up to the house, I was distinctly aware of two things. One, I had not brought any snacks. Two, I knew that our gallant steed (I.e., the white pony with four wheels) had it’s proverbial tongue ripped out ( Radio stolen) and would not be able to sing us sweet, sweet melodies ( play any music. This metaphor is getting old.) Sean and I each had our own solution- I had computer speakers, he had the so-called =BUM= Radio. And so, we had our first quarrel, in which we decided we shall be twice the victor and take turns. Yah, I know.

We stopped at a seven eleven (the same as last year; a tradition is born!) and picked up one beverage each and one assorted snack: Bawls all around, and apparently Evan and Sean settled on some white power chips. That’s what the actual bag said. I got Nutter Butter. We did an impromptu dance to “The Final Countdown,” and we where off.

The ride was spent listening to ZUNE, various songs of awesomeness and hilarity. We discussed our Rap carreers to an extent. I performed “ Game Over/Continue” for the crowd ( read: Evan and Sean) and we harassed motorists the entire way with various music and hand gestures. Then, something odd happened.

Me: Sean, where is that Spraypainted bridge that was near the hotel last year.

Sean: Huh, it’s right there.

Me: Oh, Awesome! And there is the little bullshit island with the sewage tank!

Sean: Yah, it was the view out of our room last year.

Me: That was co- SWEET GOD EVAN TAKE THIS EXIT THE HOTEL IS IN FRONT OF US.

Well, it was, and we didn’t really see it until it was almost too late. The big “Let down” of the trip there was that we didn’t drive through the so-called “East Bumfuck”, which was a town along route 6 called “ Scituate”. It was very odd last year (on the way last year, we got lost and ended up driving through the town) because the town included no less than the following:

· A Haggard-ass Dairy Queen with an old woman sitting there, possibly for years.

· A chilling realization that the town was surrounded by a lake that kinda overflowed onto the street

· An old man dragging a tarp

· Streets that where the horizon line- so we were afraid they would just….. drop off.

· A sasquatch fucking another sasquatch, and,

· A purple fence.

All of this was rudimentarily terrifying. Alas, we took a much quicker, much more direct route than last year, and where there right quick.

Check in was not bad- they took my money happily, via card, and my friends provided me with funds for which to pay me back. We got all settled in our room, and called the shuttle here on in; RideBitch) to take us to the Convention hall. As I descended a small set of stairs, I smelt a smell- it was peculiar, reminding me of trees and breakfast. The smell hit me, and so did a set of eyes.

IT WAS THE CANADIANS!

The Canadians, Namely Cam, Mike, and a new friend, Nile (or DeNile, as I now wish I called him) ha joined us last year in the battlefield 2 tournament. We ha stayed in contact throughout the year, briefly, and now where met again in digital damnation. Good to be back. We jumped in the RideBitch, and where off to the convention centre, a whole Hour and a half early.

We stopped in line, and eagerly took our spot, a little whiles away, but still close enough to the front to taste it.

And there we stood.

And the line creeped forward.

And there we stood.

And people lined up more and more behind us

And there we stood.

And the line creeped by inches ever hour.

And. There. We . Stood.

For four hours, due to what I can only imagine is an overtly complicated check-in system, we stood in line, even as a separate line was created, which we where not invited to join, which moved faster. When we finally got it, we where exhausted. It was around 9, and we barely had enough strength to lift our computers when –ZOMG SUMO BAGS!

Sumo is a company that makes kick ass bean bags, so malleable that they could, in theory, replace furniture. I immediately acquiesced one, and was then ridiculed for it. How they would know my shame later.

Then, our first controversy. Evan had forgotten his keyboard.

One can understand that at a GAMING CONVENTION, a keyboard may be necessary. He was rightfully bummed, and we felt it our duty to get him a keyboard anew. We scoured the mall, but alas, twas all closed. So Sean and I decided to get one step further from hell, come together, and buy him a Zboard. He seemed happy. We where killing motherfuckers in no time…. And began downloading all sorts of Movies, television shows (reboot and Beast Wars ZOMG!) and turned into the room around 12:30 Midnight.

We played some bullshit game with the zboard guy, Jazz. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the transformer, and suddenly, I had lost the game.

We went to the KA-NA-DI-ANS room, and discussed all manner of philosophy for several hours. Finally, we retreated at 3, to talk amongst ourselves for another 2 hours. We then went to sleep.

Interesting fact. The radiator had a little meter that read numbers. As anyone may suggest, they where there to represent temperature? No. They where arbitrary numbers, so when he hit “ Hot, 60”, we got to sleep in our own mansweat. It wasn’t until night 2 that we discovered this.

That, my friends, was day one.

Day two? Perhaps later.

Day two.

Or: IN WHICH BUMS DID DO THINGS OF INTEREST.

We got to DO at the crack of ten…. One slight problem. Ridebitch was made to seat 6 people, and our three combined with another seven…. Math tells me there is a problem! So, like o-so-many a hostage victim before me, I got into the trunk.

If you where curious; it was comfortable, but not a lot of air.

When we arrived, I had one thing on my mind; TEXAS HOLD EM. Poker, man poker. Man play poker.

Man win poker.

Sean and Evan both signed up, but they got out quickly. When I realized they where out, I went all in on a bad hand. Fuck it, I was here to be with friends.

We went out to eat, I think.

Also, we found some dude from BTC in Battlefield 2. This would become relevant later.

Lets see…. Me and Sean where in the Gears of War tournament. We lost first round, but Holy shit was it a great game! We had two people tagging along with us – A “josh” and one called “Shoe” – and they where both great guys.

And then, the biggun. We found out that the BTC guy was part of the BTC clan… a clan that we where going to team with last year, but a last minute switch put us with the KA NA DI ANS.

When we realized this, our souls found new purpose.

We challenged them . After a lot of managing, we settled on rules;

Two matches, three games each. One match would be 9 v 9, the other ,6 v 6. Daraqui Oilfields was the map, the 16 player version.

The bums fucking OWNED.

We had a great match, and the Canadian air force was in full effect ( honestly, it is terrifying facing them. This fear is subsided by this simply adorable thing they do…. They call anything dangerous “angry.” If they are gonna hit some trees? Angry trees!”). DeNile played the role of commando, taking it from myself. I felt a little weird, but I realized one can actually command a lot more when someone else is managing info for you. Good job, Nile.

We only played one game of the second match. Both teams kinda just petered out and enjoyed the evening.

We got to the hotel around the same time… 12 30… this time, Me AND sean had to go in the back, creating the now-funny “Fag Trunk.”

(it’s a trunk, full of fags.)

Sleep was sweaty, but I got up at some point and realized our terrible error.

Day three.

Day three was bittersweet. We played a minor amount of actual video games, but we did get some prizes. Sean through his Keyboard for a zboard…. And won a fang, an FPS keypad for gamers. I stepped in on a trivia game, won a Marvel heroes Boardgame, and walked out. And I thought about stealing a sumo.

I really wanted one.

We ate popeyes, something that I only hope becomes a tradition, and I got my kick-ass quicksave belt buckle.

We parted ways with the KA NA DI ANS, and danced a little.

That’s when it got weird.

Driving home, we didn’t exactly have directions. We Had a mantra- Route 6. The signs confused, as there where signs for “Hartford Ct.” ( court) and “Hartford CT” ( Connecticut.) we took one sign that told us that home was near, and soon, we where straight up lost.

Or where we?

The trees smelled of sulfur.

In the distance, two moans and groans echoed throughout the woods.

My zune suddenly found someone else.

MY GOD. WE GOT LOST IN SCITUATE.

We where terrified… I am not gonna say I burst into tears, but it is a distinct possibility.

When we finally made it out, we where only side tracked once more, and that was by a place called “ Gay City State Park.” We found it, and made our way home.

The only other bittersweet realization was that my phone and coat where incognito….. oh well.

It was a damn good weekend.

-A F K

I am very tied, and wil write up my experience this weekend, with pictures, as soon as I can recuperate.

Ryan Sohmer, from the entirely interesting Webcomic Least I could do, has written a nice write-up on the dangers of the daunting empty page;